Twelve months, the good and the bad...

This sweet boy celebrated twelve fun filled months with us this past weekend. Party pix to come soon, but first a little about Max at one year. He likes to make us smile. He has a great little smile that sometimes involves a little head tilt and touch of the chin to the chest and a little looking up with his eyes to make sure we are reacting. Sadly, only close friends and family see this precious look. I know the people at the gym and the nursery workers at church think he is a misearably sad baby, because he seems to cry nearly the whole time he is with them. I actually got pulled off the treadmill because he would not stop crying.

[Side note: she wanted to argue with me about how old he was because, I guess, she forgot to find out the name of the crying baby who needed his mommy and came only with a vague description of an eight month old. Except that he was actually just a smallish eleven month old at the time! And, I am NOT a runner - it's a lot of jogging and then walking to recover, but having to stop basically cold turkey to go retrieve a baby really makes for some aching legs the next day.]

Anyway, back to Max. He loves to eat. He still only has two teeth so he's not eating too much table food but he doesn't seem to mind. He has had some grilled chicken and loved it. And (my boy) loves the carbs - throw me some bread mama! I caught Luke feeding him spicy trail mix a couple days ago and he let that ooze back out of his mouth so he definitely has some opinions!

He is pretty good at playing on his own in the same room with Seth and Luke for quite awhile. But, then he seems to suddenly remember that the rest of us exist and he takes off crawling for us and needs to be held for a few minutes.

He has some "words" that he says. Seth and Luke tickle him a lot. They come up and tickle under his chin and say, "tickle, tickle, tickle." Well, Max has started crawling up to us and saying something that sounds just like, "tickuh, tickuh, tickuh." He also says "Ni' Da'y" ['Night Daddy] to David at bedtime. And I think he always makes the same sound when he sees Seth but it's a nonsense word. But, I do think it's consistent so it probably means something to him. He still doesn't say 'Mommy' often, but the other day he crawled right up to me, wrapped himself around my leg, and let off with a big long string of "mommmommmommmomm."

I finally let him start sleeping with a blanket in his bed because, if he went to bed without one and his laundry hamper was anywhere near his bed he would reach out his superhuman arms and snag some dirty laundry to hold in his hand while he sucked his thumb in his sleep. I really thought I was moving it far enough away from his bed, but I was starting to think he was getting out of bed to get the clothes (not really, but you know what I mean!).

He also has some mad dance moves when he hears music that he likes. He's not walking on his own but he will pull up and bounce. Or stop where he's at and just sit and dance. As far as walking goes, he does "walk" around the kitchen holding onto a kitchen chair. The walk-behind toy (with wheels) moves a little fast for him still, but he's catching on.

And that's our sweet littlest guy at one year old.

Now for the bad:

I am really struggling with this milestone and would be lying if I typed anything else. Max is our last baby and I'm having trouble letting go of him being a baby. I know he will always be the baby of our family so I might need to stress that point for a little while. I spent most of Tuesday crying. We finished the formula and he wanted nothing to do with milk, neither in a sippy cup (which he's not yet mastered) nor in a bottle. I have still been nursing him just for the last feeding before he goes to bed and planned to stop when he turned one and switched over to milk. But, since he wouldn't drink the milk, he was crying and pleading with his eyes (is that possible at just barely one?) and I was crying and it was just a mess.

So, I nursed him and put him to bed and then I laid on the couch for an hour. So what, you say? Well, here's the thing. Probably the hardest part, for me, of being a stay at home is that the job never ends. After all the kiddos are in bed there is still something that needs to be done. [Yes, my time management skills are lacking, I'm sure.] Laundry, load the dishwasher, pick something up, etc. So, I feel like I rarely sit down for that long. And definitely not lying motionless on the couch trying not to cry.

I do not remember feeling this sad about the older two turning one. This transition is rough. Truthfully, I'm typing all this out (1) because it's somewhat therapeutic for me and (2) because I hope I can look back in a few weeks and think about how silly it was for me to be so upset.