top ten things I won't miss about being pregnant

1. Nearly crying at Toy Story 2. Bursting into tears in the local baby store.

2. The burning desire for ice cream. Hourly.

3. The burning in my throat. Who knew there were so many different flavors and strengths of Tums! Nevermind, Luke and I were walking down the antacid aisle at the store and he started pointing at the Tums yelling, "Mommy medi!" Oh, yeah.

4. Sleeping like bubble boy, only it's pillow girl.

5. Wanting to chug the gallon of milk on the way home from the grocery store.

6. Hourly urinating. When I'm fortunate enough to space it out that far.

7. Smells. My nose is too sensitive anyway. But when you sit down in the movie theater with your hubby, with a tub of buttery popcorn, and lean over to him and say, "do you smell pencil lead?", you seriously look like a loon!!

8. The question, "Getting close isn't it?" Meaning, 'if you get much bigger you'll explode?' Or, 'are you due tomorrow?' Or, 'Everyday is one day closer?' WHAT exactly is that question supposed to mean?

9. Nausea, nausea, nausea. I mean really, only if I'm awake.

10. Fighting with my husband over a name!

He's nearly here...

Today I'm taking a more serious turn. Hang in there with me. Or just hit the little 'X' in the upper righthand corner.


It is nearly the day for baby's arrival. The c-section is scheduled and we are counting down. When you live with a very excited 4 year old, the best option is to count down nighttime sleeps. So, that's what we've been doing. He is so sweetly excited, I just hope he remains that way once the baby is here!


However, this time is different for me than the last two. One of the biggest differences is that we don't have a church family with which to share this time. We have a church that we have been attending but I have been dragging my feet about getting involved and because of that we really only know a few people of the 800 or so who attend regularly. Why? I have felt crummy a lot of the last 9 months, and that doesn't make me want to be particularly social. Plus, I'm sure with nearly 800 attendees everyone thinks someone else is our friend so people aren't overly friendly. Add to that a child with food allergies and then I'm not just the new person, I'm the new person who has to scrutinize everything that goes near her rambunctious 2 year old's mouth. Admittedly, our lack of involvement is primarily my issue, as Dave would have gladly joined a smaller group a while ago.


All that rambling just to say, I'd like to share a couple of prayer requests here as I don't have another good place to do so:

*First, for Seth & Luke and Grammy & Grampy. For the few days I'm in the hospital the boys will be hanging with G&G. I know they'll have a great time! I also know that these boys are a lot of work and that it will likely be exhausting for someone who hasn't had to deal with a 2 year old 24 hours a day in a long time! Also, Luke is pretty attached to me. AND he has arms like an octopus so I'm not sure when I will feel comfortable with him coming up to the hospital with all the IV's and tubes in me, etc. On the other hand, Seth is SO excited to meet the baby. I just need to make wise decisions about when it's okay for them to come up and meet their brother.

*Next, for Dave. He will be balancing helping me at the hospital (the c-section leaves me a little less mobile than I'd like to be for the first day or two) and coming home to love on the older boys as well. Plus, he had a bad experience after Luke's c-section was over and I'm really worried that being back in the OR with me might make him queasy all over again, only earlier. Selfishly, I really need him to be strong during the operation!

*For the baby. That he arrives safe and healthy. I am so ready to meet this little person.

*For the doctors and nurses. That they'll be rested and ready. That there won't be anything odd to deal with as far as the c-section, etc. but that if there is they are ready for it. That they will listen to my requests for less of a certain drug that makes me really sick post-op.

*And finally, for me. The 'operation apprehension' is starting to creep into my excitement and overshadow it a little. I'm also feeling really guilty about not relaxing and enjoying this pregnancy (I have NO explanation whatsoever for this). But I really want to relax and enjoy the baby once he's here! Also, there is a newer pain management option that I am planning to use. I am very hopeful that it will reduce the amount of time I spend vomiting post-op.

To Whom It May Concern...

Please consider this my request for a temporary leave of absence from real life.

Let me first apologize to all the amazing women out there who love being pregnant, are good at it, never whine, and never feel better than when they are pregnant. Please understand, I love the baby I get in the end and am so thankful to God for blessing our family with him. But I'm not so good at being pregnant.

As such, I would like to go on record and say, "I am done." I am done acting like I can still do all the things I could do when I weighed substantially less and could bend at the middle. I don't want to weed the flower beds. I don't even want to plant flowers. And I love flowers. I don't want to scrub the shower (that thing is shrinking by the way!). I don't want to clean behind the toilets (boys, it's a big bowl - let's work on this!). I don't want to pick food up off the floor. (I let a rubber band lay on the floor for three days, hoping I could will it back up to the counter. Didn't work.)

I'm even having trouble finding the motivation to wash baby clothes. The bed is made. The blankets are clean. Some sleepers are ready go do. I won't be wearing "real" clothes for a few weeks. Why should he have to?

I would like to put my feet up (I got a pedicure this weekend, I don't mind looking at my hugely bloated toes anymore), sip cranberry limeades, maybe read a People magazine, and eat brownies (perhaps smothered in icing).

Thank you for permitting me this little blog breakdown.

8 month update

How far along: 36 weeks this weekend

What I miss: Good sleep! Energy. Patience. Is this last month's list again? Being able to sneeze without feeling like my ribs are ripping apart (happy spring).

What I love: *Knowing that we are so close to meeting this little guy! Dave pointed out yesterday (May 1) that he will definitely be a May baby. *Knowing that, while a few more weeks of him growing inside is certainly best, everything would likely be okay if he were to come now. *Seth kissing my belly goodnight and talking to the baby.

To do list: **We have moved the two older boys into one room so that's a huge item crossed off the list. They are doing better than I expected. Unfortunately, Seth's new bed and dresser have not arrived yet. I am hoping desperately that they come before the baby. Their hanging clothes are combined in one closet and they are sleeping in the same room. However, Seth is sleeping on a mattress and box springs on the floor and Luke's folded clothes are still in his old room in his old dresser. Hence, I need to wash baby clothes but I don't love the thought of them sitting on top of the dresser collecting dust until Luke's clothes can be moved. We are hoping to hear something this week about the furniture. *** I had a little meltdown yesterday and started washing the clothes and the bedding. We made the bed and have started stacking the clean clothes in the bed and we'll cover them up with a big blanket. I just felt like I needed to accomplish something productive. Dave hung the baby's name canvasses on the wall and got out the new lamp. Yeah! ***My baby needs a middle name. Still.

In the interest of full disclosure/documentation: I spent a little quality time at the hospital last Friday night (the 23rd). The baby wasn't moving normally, at least not to me. So, after two days of stressing about him, I went to the hospital (for what I thought would be an hour on a monitor). They got me hooked up and I could hear his heartbeat right away and it was 140's - very normal. Then as I laid there I thought things felt odd. Sure enough, I was having contractions (although I really don't think that started until I got to the hospital). Then I had to have a shot to stop those. Then the doctor ordered a blood test to check something else. And finally, an ultrasound to check on some fluid levels, etc. It was quite the photo shoot but I only got one picture (not really the point of the photo shoot anyway, she was just nice enough to mess with him until she got a profile shot she could give me to me). Of course, I felt silly afterward for going at all, but I suppose the contractions needed to be dealt with. A wonderful friend of mine works in postpartum and she was getting off work when I was there so she came by for awhile and we had a great visit. Plus, it was crazy quiet and I got to rest for a little while. So, that's that. And here's the not-so-little guys latest photo. If you're bad at these (like me) his forehead is to the right and he's on his back. Hope this helps.

And I'll conclude with my HUH moment of the month: I saw a neighbor out in front and stopped to chat with her. She asked when I was due. I said, "the end of May." She said, "this May?" Umm, yeah. As I'm not an elephant I think 9 months gestation will be sufficient and I'll go with this May.

In which I discuss how stupid pregnancy hormones make me act...

Friday night/Saturday morning, Luke was crying about 2AM. I desperately wanted to kick Dave in the shin but since rolling that direction would've required obvious effort I decided to just get up and handle it myself. Usually if Luke cries during the night, it's a quick trip into his room, he asks to be "covered" and maybe for a drink (sippy cup of water is positioned just outside his door) and it's back to bed. However, this night Luke was standing in his bed, holding his favorite blanket, begging me to "seat down." Normally I would've begged back, about covering up and going back to sleep, etc., but for some reason I opted to just do what he asked. I picked him up and sat down in the recliner in his room. Put up the foot rest and snuggled in.


And in doing so I got cuddled back. That's the thing about Luke. At two years old, I would say he holds you right back. He had an arm around my neck and an arm around what used to be my waist my side and his head on the other shoulder. And he snuggled in and fell asleep. And I sat in that chair and cried. Stupid ridiculous hormonal tears of "soon he won't be my baby" and "will I have time to hold him like this once I have a new baby?" and "he's going to be moved out of his room with all the puppy stuff and shoved into a big boy room full of cars and trucks" and on and on and on....


And then I composed myself and put this beautifully sleeping little boy back into his bed. He laughed as I covered him up. And in the light of day it seems mostly insane that I sat and cried. Because I remember having some of those same concerns with Seth. And I think we all survived that pretty well. But, yikes, these raging prego hormones make me feel a wee bit insane!


**Moving on - I resolved crazy obsession number one and got a diaper bag over the weekend. And a purse and a couple of accessories to go with. It was a collaboration between myself and my mom (well, my parents, but mom had to endure the shopping with me). So, thanks parents!! Now, moving on, I'm starting to obsess about hospital things - clothes to pack, when to let the boys come up and meet the baby, etc. And I still have a few weeks before any of it really matters. Oh, crazy hormones.